Cringey Ads of the '70s & '80s

File these under "Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...."

I was minding my business scrolling through social media recently when I came across someone’s post about a vintage advertisement for Love’s Baby Soft perfume. Not only do I remember the ad, I could smell its baby powder scent just by looking at it (I had an aunt who wore it and gifted me a bottle for Christmas in the early ‘80s). But those fond memories were quickly overpowered by disgust.

That not a single person involved during every stage of development had the good sense to halt the production of this sickening ad is batshit INSANE. “You know, gentlemen, maybe it’s not a good idea to promote pedophilia and sexualize a 9 year old…just a thought…”

It hit me how much advertising (and our culture) has evolved over the decades. Some of those old commercials and print ads are troubling to us now, others are simply awkward and amusing, but they all reflect the sexual mores and attitudes of the era.

Without further ado, here are more ads GenXers grew up seeing that are the cringiest of the cringe.

Fellas, is it gay to want to smell good for women?

Advertising men’s grooming products used to be (and continues to be) all about reassuring men that it’s okay if they want to avoid being the smelly guy in the office nobody invites to lunch. It’s like somewhere down the line, men as a whole were like “Only sissies smell good and look good! Real men smell like onions and look like horse manure!” It’s the male version of slut-shaming. Insecure men try to knock down their more attractive sexual rivals by equating sex appeal with homosexuality. It’s so pathetic.

That “real” means heterosexual is all sorts of wrong

This next one would’ve been incredibly progressive for the time, because everyone and their grandma knew there was only 1 reason it needed to be shaped like a phallus no matter what the ad says.

This chick is forever immortalized with a dildo by her face and I just can’t even

If they were going for a Brokeback Mountain thing, then this ad is amazeballs (pun intended) and ahead of its time. If they weren’t, then I’m floored they thought this would appeal to the same demographic that needs to be constantly reassured they’re not gay for wearing deodorant.

I found this next one in an ‘80s teen magazine I’d kept in a box of memorabilia. Back then, I didn’t think twice about it. The ad was in nearly every single issue for years. But now, it’s clearly so heinous and dangerous.

I mean, it should surprise no one that ads like this existed during the era we normalized bulimia in the slang lexicon

I loved this stuff. It was delicious and gave your lips the sexy wet look. But this ad gives me mixed feelings now. Was it super inappropriate to encourage such flagrant two-timing (or in this case five-timing) or was it super progressive for refusing to slut-shame women for dating around?

This next one I’ve never seen before. I happened upon it recently and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I wondered if it was a fake ad—surely people weren’t THIS dumb and depraved in the ‘70s—right?

Honestly, some women would be won over after hearing your fave author is the Marquis de Sade and then you’d be stuck role-playing her BDSM fantasies when all you want to do is not make a big production out of fucking.

Seriously though, nothing screams masculine strength more than being so emotionally weak you can’t simply break up with her, you need to be passive-aggressive and manipulative so she leaves you instead.

I’m sure people have written literal dissertations on all the ways this misogynistic abusive trash was harmful to both men and women, so instead of raging I’ll just say her baby doll wedding gown with the puffy shoulder caps and upper-arm bows is so totally adorable.